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Friday, January 11, 2008

What's Wrong With America?

I'm here in New York City and just finished the Inman conference. There's a lot for me to report. When I get back to Aventura, Florida I'll be writing several posts about the event and what I've learned. I need a few days to let the information settle in my head. Check back to see what's posted next.

In the meantime, I'd like to announce that during my trip in New York City I met up with comedian Jonathan Randall. He does stand up all over New York. He has agreed to start a series of posts called, "What's wrong with America?"

Here's what he has to say....

When you grow up with Britney Spears as your older sister it is hard
to get attention. Just when you think you might grab the spotlight
Britney shaves her head and tries to beat up an SUV with an umbrella
or flashes her vagina for the world to see. Sure you might have a hit
show on one of televisions biggest children's network, but your big
sister had a public marriage with one of the most talentless piece of
crap in the known galaxy. Actually calling Kevin Federline crap is
really not fair to poo. He is more like the poopoo that gets stuck to
the side of the bowl after you flush, and the next time you use the
toilet you have to pee at really hard to try and get rid of.

Poor Jamie Lynn the only way to get attention in a family built on lip
singing and tabloids is to get pregnant at 16, Britney might have done
and continue to do allot of screwed up things but she can never get
pregnant at 16. Finally, advantage Jamie Lynn, their mom must be so
proud. After all mommy Spears will probably get a percentage of the
Million bucks OK magazine is paying for pictures of the baby after its
born. That's right a million bucks for having a baby at 16, finally
teenage pregnancy is cool and profitable. I'm sure if she has a
miscarriage one of these soul sucking, lets rethink the whole freedom
of press thing magazines will cough up 100 grand for pics of the dead

But wait there's more! Getting knocked up at 16 wasn't enough for
Jamie Lynn oh no when you have to compete with Britney's level of
dysfunction you need to bring it. According to several news outlets
the father of the worlds most famous fetus is not the 18 year old the
Spears family claims, oh no he is just a hired stooge. The real dad is
an executive on Jaime's cancelled show Zoey 101. That's right
Nickelodeon has pedophiles on the pay role, hey no one knows kids like a child molester. Congratulations Jaimie you officially reached movie of the the week status. We will probably see your story on Lifetime this year starring Lindsy Lohan's little sister.

Where does all this leave Jamie Lynn's fans? Well those under 17 can ditch Sex Ed 101 and follow in the foot steps of their favorite tween queen by getting pregnant. Thanks to Jamie Lynn teen pregnancy is as trendy as Uggs and over sized hand bags. The older fans who were OK with masturbating to a 16 year old will now have to decide if stroking it to a pregnant 16 year old is just going to far.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY.... let us know.

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